August: Mating Fever (Bears of Kodiak Book 2) Read online

  But she hated the guilt eating her alive. Because she didn’t want Blue. Not even a little. She’d tried letting him know that about two months into their relationship, and had tried in her sad, pathetic way to break things off. But he had promised that he didn’t want or expect much, and that if all she needed was a fuck buddy, he was happy to be that for her. Rather than being firm and sticking to her guns, she had allowed her siren’s needs to get the better of her.

  But Blue wasn’t what she wanted, and their casual arrangement made her feel like shit. Having meaningless sex with different partners because her siren nature demanded it was one thing. But having meaningless sex with the same partner night after night had begun to make her feel worse than awful.

  Each night before bed, the only thing she thought of were intense blue eyes and a rugged, masculine profile that made her heart race. When she was in bed with Blue, more often than not, it was the image of August coming that finally tipped her over the edge and nothing that Blue did. Which was really sad, and something she doubted would make Blue happy to hear.

  After that one night between them, August had started treating her differently. He wasn’t cold anymore or even distant. But a wall still stood between them.

  Whenever Blue would come around, August would make himself scarce. So she knew she wasn’t the only one pining away, but August was rigid in his belief that he knew what was best for them.

  And maybe he was right. She was so into him that if he even gave her the tiniest whiff of interest, she would be wet and ready. Which was all sorts of tragic. Jackson hated admitting it, even to herself, but August staying away was the smart thing. Because as the day approached for his mating ritual, she knew that if they’d been lovers, she would never have been able to handle seeing him want and need and chase after another woman.

  It would kill her. Just the thought of him with another woman made her heart ache. She rubbed at her chest idly.

  It was time to move on, both figuratively and literally. Jackson was pretty sure that once August went through his ritual, she would leave. She would have to move somewhere, anywhere... she would just have to get far away from him and whoever Ms. Right wound up being.

  She sighed, and Blue looked at her from the corner of his eyes. Inhaling deeply, he reached over, grabbed the remote, and turned off the TV. And she shrunk back into the couch because she knew.

  Blue couldn’t read her thoughts, but he was an ancient fae. He’d been around long enough that he was no one’s fool. Blowing out a heavy breath, he palmed his legs, rubbing his thighs in an agitated manner.

  Blue had hinted at wanting more a few weeks prior. He’d wanted her to move in. She didn’t for a second believe it had been because he was falling in love with her. More likely, he’d wanted the convenience.

  He was a carnal fae, able to match her need tit for tat. He had a banging body and could make her laugh. But it just wasn’t enough anymore.

  It wasn’t Blue’s fault that whenever he kissed her—and his kisses were perfectly nice—she couldn’t help but compare them to what August’s had done to her.

  August’s kisses had made her feel alive and nuclear all at once. The very atoms of her cells had seemed to spark to life and make her feel like she was both rooted to the ground and flying at the same time.

  She felt nothing even close to that with Blue, just lips pressing to lips. He was nice and sexy, but he wasn’t for her.

  Twisting toward her, he took her jaw in his and kissed her soundly on the lips. And again, it was nice, but her body didn’t buzz or tremble. She looked at him when he pulled away.

  “I think it’s time to call this thing, whatever it is, siren. Don’t you?” He was giving her an easy out, and she wanted to kiss him for it. But she didn’t.

  Instead, she gave him a thin smile. “Am I that transparent?”

  Snorting, he shoved two fingers through his hair. “Gotta admit, I’ve never felt like I was always second place with anyone else. Not too sure that’s so great on my ego.”

  She laughed, but the sound was pitiful. “I’m sorry, Blue, but I tried to be honest with you from the beginning. I can’t help how I feel.”

  “Nah.” He flicked his wrist. “I know. Thought maybe eventually my fae charm could wear you down, but I think that damn grizzly’s gotten so far under your skin, there’s not a chance in hell for anyone else.”

  She shook her head. “Don’t even mention him right now. That’s a hopeless cause too. I think we all know it.” Standing, she decided that was as good a time as any to make a clean break.

  Thankfully, Blue never had gotten that wrapped up in her. “Tell you what though,” he mumbled with an edge of heat to his words, “I’m gonna miss siren sex. You don’t know what sex is till you tap it.”

  She snorted with laughter. She’d needed that. As crass as he sometimes was, there were parts about Blue she was actually going to miss. “Gee, thanks, Blue. Seriously. Of all things you’ll miss about me—”

  “It’ll be the magickal vajayjay, yup.” He winked mischievously. “Anyway, later, siren.” Then picking up the remote, he turned the TV back on. And that was that.

  It had been a good four months, fun in its own way. And though she had a twinge of remorse, she mostly just felt relief. Turning on her heel, she didn’t say goodbye. She just saw herself out the door and closed it behind her.

  She walked for miles aimlessly. Blue lived in a trailer park about five miles from her home, so it was an easy enough walk.

  And though it was Alaska and the nights got crazy cold, she was a cold-weather siren, bred for the harsh arctic environments. Her skin barely felt the chill of the air. She was dressed in a heavy jacket and jeans, and though she was breathing heavier from crunching through thick, packed snow, she walked.

  Because going home right then was out of the question. Nothing was waiting for her there, not even a cat. Maybe in the next place she settled, she would find herself a cat... or maybe a dog. They were nicer.

  Her footsteps were shambling and aimless, her thoughts far away as she imagined where she would go next. She could try some other coastal part of Alaska, or maybe she would finally get brave and leave Alaska altogether, go to the tropics somewhere.

  Before she knew it, she realized her footsteps had taken her to the one place they always took her when her mind was in turmoil. The water.

  The town barely had a population of three hundred and fifty at last census, so she doubted anyone would be out and about, especially not in the cold weather. But even if they had, she wouldn’t have cared.

  Stripping, she shucked off her jacket, boots, jeans, and sweater until she stood on the rocky beach completely naked. She wasn’t a full-time water siren, which meant she didn’t need to constantly be in water to survive, but the water eased her. It helped her to gather her thoughts, which were jagged and sharp at the moment.

  Running for the water, she jumped in without a moment’s hesitation. She shivered only briefly at the icy contact of it against her warm flesh, but she adjusted to the frigid waters almost instantly.

  She had no tail, because again, she wasn’t a full-time siren. Unlike most other Breed, she couldn’t shift. She simply was what she was—a woman with a voice that could kill.

  Treading the waters back and forth, she stared at the moonlight that shimmered along the top of the black lagoon and allowed her mind to wander. And as she suspected, it drifted immediately toward August.

  They had two months left before he would forever leave her. Two months wasn’t a lot of time, but it was enough.

  Couldn’t they at least be friends? Or try to be anyway? Did everything always have to be so standoffish between them? They were adults. Wasn’t it time to start acting like it?

  Humming softly to herself, she released some of her magick. Cradled by the water and her magick, she came to a conclusion that seemed so obvious, she couldn’t understand why she hadn’t reached it before.

  True, August would have no choice but to subm
it to his instinct to mate. And yes, his heart and lust would be turned to another once he did. But that didn’t mean they couldn’t be friendly. It didn’t have to be all or nothing. There was a middle ground they’d both been ignoring. Maybe if they learned to make friends, she could eventually learn to let him go and be okay with it.

  Smiling softly to herself, she swam back to shore. Getting out, she snatched up her clothes. The cool winds dried her wet flesh quickly, and she was able to shimmy back into her clothes.

  Without even knowing it, she realized that she had walked to within half a mile of the Junk Yard. Jogging briskly to help warm up, she ran the last bit to the bar. It was time to start letting August go.

  Chapter 5

  August

  The door opened, and he knew without looking up that it was her. Her shift had ended four hours ago. He’d seen her leave with Blue. But looking up now, he saw that Jack was all alone, and her eyes were only on him.

  His skin prickled from the intensity of her look.

  All around, there was chatter and laughter. Honky-tonk music played, and glasses clinked, but he saw and heard nothing except for the glide of her booted feet and the sexy smile on her lips.

  When she finally reached the bar, he realized her hair was wet.

  “Took a bath?” he asked, forcing himself to finish setting up the keg.

  Leaning over the bar, her mouth brushed his ear. “Nope. Took a swim in the lagoon.”

  Chuckling, because he could believe the wild, crazy woman would do just that in the middle of winter, he shook his head. “You don’t say. Trying to drown yourself?”

  “Ha.” She snorted. “Sirens can’t drown, you furry baboon.” There was something different about her tonight, something easy and stress-free, almost as though she was a different person completely.

  His heart beat hard in his chest. It was obvious to him that something momentous had happened during her swim, either that or she and Blue were really falling in love, and that’s what had given her the glow.

  He scowled at that thought. He would have sworn there was nothing that serious between them before. He’d seen the way she looked at Blue... like friends, but nothing more.

  But the pretty siren in front of him at that moment wasn’t at all broody or contemplative, or even sad like she typically was when she was around him. She had a definite bounce to her step that he found sexy and more than just a little appealing.

  Finished with what he’d been doing, he gave her his full attention, drinking her in like a man parched. Her blue eyes sparkled like the sun-dappled waters she called home.

  Narrowing his eyes, he said, “You seem different tonight.”

  “Do I?” She grinned then nodded. “Yes. I guess I would.”

  “Why?” He wasn’t sure whether to trust this new, perky Aphrodite incarnate.

  “Because I’ve come to a conclusion.”

  He knew she was baiting him, but that didn’t stop him from asking anyway. “And that is?”

  “That we can be friends. That we should be friends.” She held up her hands when he opened his mouth to again remind her why that was such a bad idea.

  Although his attempts to tell her that would have been half-hearted at best. Staying away from her the past months had been sheer torture, especially once Blue had become a permanent fixture in her life.

  “I’m not saying sex or even a relationship. I’m saying we be friends. You tell me about you, and I’ll tell you about me.”

  He was treading in dangerous waters. The more he knew about her, the more he would want her. But what if he didn’t? What if maybe learning about each other was the way to kill the dangerous attraction between them once and for all? He decided to give in because he was tired of always pushing her away. August had always been a sucker when it came to playing the knight in white to the woman in need.

  He looked toward a new hire, Madison’s brother Urich—another dragon, which they definitely didn’t need more of. “Urich, man the bar, will you?”

  Without waiting for the black-haired dragon to nod his assent, August slipped out from under the bar and headed toward an empty corner table, holding out his arm toward Jack. “Ladies first,” he murmured.

  Her smile pierced his heart like a poison-tipped arrow. The shot would kill him, but he would die a happy man to see it one more time.

  Sitting, they ordered drinks from a wide-eyed Madison. She looked at them both as if they’d lost their minds but went and filled their drink orders anyway.

  Neither of them said anything until their drinks were dropped off.

  Jack was the one to break the silence first. Cocking her head, she gave him another one of her breath-stealing smiles. He decided she was far more dangerous to his senses when she was being open with him.

  “So tell me about you, Auggie,” she said.

  Hearing her pet name for him slip so easily off her tongue made him almost forget they were just supposed to be friends. What he really wanted was reach over, take her hand, and beg her to end his agony of want.

  He shook his head. “You first,” he rumbled with a deep voice.

  Flicking her wrist, she laughed. And the sound did crazy, mad things to his body. It made him ache and feel alive all at the same time.

  “I guess fair is fair,” she said. “Truth is, I’m gonna be moving soon.”

  All thoughts of how sexy she was flew out the window with those words. His spine went rigid, and his shoulders became taut. “What? When? Why? Don’t you like it here?”

  Her smile was soft as she shrugged. “I don’t know. Feels like it’s time. As to the when, two months from now.”

  She didn’t have to tell him why to make him understand. He didn’t think about the loss in revenue he would feel when she left, or even about the fact that the highlight of each day for him was walking into the bar and seeing her smile up at him in greeting, however brief it was. What he did think about was that she couldn’t go.

  “You’re the best damn thing that’s ever happened to me, Jack,” he admitted ruefully, forcing out the words that shouldn’t have come out but were long overdue.

  She went absolutely still at that. “That’s not what this was about, August. I’m not trying to hurt you, but you have to understand—”

  “Blue,” he said softly.

  Her brows dipped. “Huh? He and I didn’t work—”

  He chuckled. “My favorite color,” he clarified. “Or used to be anyway.” August picked at the wrapping on his beer bottle with his thumbnail, waiting to see her reaction.

  He didn’t have to wait long. A slow smile spread across her face. She snorted. “Clever.”

  He decided he liked her relaxed and carefree, laughing at the dumb things he said. Why couldn’t things always be like that between them?

  Giving into temptation, he reached over and gently ran the pad of his finger along her cheek, causing her to suck in her breath and turn her wide, doe eyes back on him.

  “Though I think arctic blue will always be my favorite,” he said.

  It didn’t seem possible that those simple words should make an experienced siren blush, but they did. A faint stain of pink rose high on her neck, and she grinned, acting as though his words hadn’t bothered her in the slightest, or his touch. She acted as if she was unaffected by him completely. Her laughter was easy and musical and drew the eyes of all those around them. They leaned into her like metal shavings to a magnet.

  But he’d caught the tremble in her jaw and the way she refused to look him directly in the eyes. Just being friends was going to be hell, but he could do it. For her, he could try.

  “I like green,” she said softly, and he nodded.

  They spent the next three hours talking about everything and nothing. It was easy. It was perfect. And by the time she finally said her goodbyes and left the bar with a small wave and smile, he knew what they’d done had been a huge mistake.

  He was in more danger than ever of falling one hundred percent, head over heels
in love with her. “Fuck my life,” he groaned.

  Chapter 6

  August

  Stomach swirling with razor-tipped butterfly wings, August could barely check his excitement as he locked the door behind the last barfly of the night.

  It was his favorite time of the day. Well past the witching hour, nothing else existed in the world except for the soft strains of dimmed juke box music playing in the background and a round of a hundred questions he and Jack played as they each nursed a bottle of beer.

  It had been three months since the first night they did it. At this point, he felt as though he practically knew her inside, outside, forward, and backward.

  A few last things remained that he desperately wanted to know. Their time was gone. Tonight would be their final night together like this. After that, August would be going into hibernation to prepare his body for the ritual to come.

  Tonight was special.

  Subconsciously, they’d both decided to bring each other farewell gifts. He had packed up a small box with some of her favorite things and stored it under the desk in his office. He thought he’d been slick until she had walked in for her shift later in the evening, holding a big-ass box and telling him she’d done the exact same thing.

  He was going to miss her like hell. Just the thought of being forced to forget about her made his chest ache in unbearable ways. He’d been a bear to his brothers the past few nights but didn’t know how to stop.

  August was pretty that his brothers were both relieved he would be slipping into a deep coma for the next three weeks.

  Turning, he was going to go grab her from the backroom when suddenly, the empty bar filled with the strains of siren song and guitar strings.

  Jackson, dressed in her customary work clothes, sat on a stool by herself on stage. Haloed by the blue lights above her and holding onto a guitar, her eyes were closed as she sang a song only to him.